2007-10-22
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300 basements
Listen, when you say to someone: �I�ll give you three guesses and the first two don�t count,� you might think it�s clever, but it�s not. It�s stupid. What does that even mean? Stop saying it. So I watched the movie �300� last night. It was recommended to me by a number of people, but the most strongly by a Polish girl in my office who got so moist by watching all of the well-built men sweat and bleed that she probably couldn�t sit still the rest of the day even after telling me about the movie. Some women are like that; she�s one of them. So the movie was based on the graphic novel (comic) by the same guy who did Sin City, which I loved. What struck me most about 300 was the quality of the special effects. Sin City was awesome, oh yes, but still had the comic book feel a lot of the time. 300 did not. There was virtually (no pun intended, I�m sure) no point in the movie when it didn�t seem�I dunno, real. That being said, many of the characters were paper thin, the story was very predictable, etc., but I was entertained and at no point did the movie drag on. It was well cast, well acted, and well made in general. If you can take the blood and dismemberment, I�d recommend it highly. It�s not cerebral so if you want to think go rent the reruns of the chess playoffs or something. In other news, it was a very expensive weekend, as I acquired the last 2 big pieces of the basement accoutrements - namely, a 46� 1080p LCD TV, and a console/hutch entertainment center to put it in. Once the TV arrives I�ll have to spend another 80 clams (I�ve already priced it) on an upconvert DVD player, but that�s it. No mas. That�s everything. I did look at the Blue Balls DVD player this weekend at Best Cry, but I just can�t do it. It went down something like this: Me: �I just bought a new LCD TV and I need a new DVD player to go with it.� Sales Prick: �Well you need Blue Balls!�� Me: Blue Balls? �Sounds painful.� Sales Prick: �You have no idea.� Me: �I seem to recall hearing something about Blue Balls, tell me more.� Sales Prick: �Well first, look at the picture on this TV.� *reaches under counter for something* Me: *blows a nut in pants* Sales Prick: �Now imagine this rough-hewn, glass-encrusted, 6-inch cross section piece of timber getting jack hammered into your ass.� Me: *shudders* Sales Prick: *That�s sort of like Blue Balls.� Me: �So it�s really expensive?� Sales Prick: �Lemme break it down for you, Skippy. That right there is the most expensive TV in our store, playing a special Blue Balls demo DVD that we can�t even remove from the special demo Blue Balls DVD player.� Me: �Hmm. So it misrepresents the product, makes Best Cry and Blue Balls shit tons of money, then ruins lots of vehicle and sofa upholstery with bloodstains and plasma seepage, in other words.� Sales Prick: �Bingo! Now, which one would you like?� Me: �I think I�ll come back later.� *scurries out of store holding wallet in one hand, sphincter in other* Spending $500 - $600 on a medium that is not industry supported, paying $25 each for special Blue Balls DVDs that I cannot rent from Blockbastard or Netfucks, is basically just funding the post-market development of technology that may or may not take off. You know what? I�m not a fad-chaser. Why would I want to re-buy my DVDs in a different format just for the pleasure of watching them again? Sorry Blue Balls.
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