There are some who call me...Tim

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2006-08-02 �

Canada 2006 Part 1

So at the end of June, I went back to Canada for the annual fishing trip. This trip was extra special this year, because I was taking a little extra time to visit some friends in Calgary, Alberta. Actually, I had never met any of them, but I knew them through the Internet, as we all post on various skeptical forums like: The James Randi Educational Foundation (JREF Forum) and the Skepchick forum.

I was up early on a Thursday morning to catch my 6am flight. Everything went smoothly with my connection in Salt Lick City also, and I arrived in Calgary at about 11:30am. Things got a little weird at this point. I stepped up with my passport to the Immigration desk, and was almost immediately looked at suspiciously. I was dressed in a t-shirt, brown Carhartt pants, boots, and a ball cap. I had about 3-4 weeks of beard (homegrown sunblock) and really short hair.

The Immigration officer, still looking at me askance, starts asking me questions:

�So, what brings ya to Canada?�

�A fishing trip.�

�Oh yah? Where ya headed?�

�Ultimately up to the Northwest Territories via Saskatoon.�

�Ya traveling alone?�

�Well, just today. I�m staying overnight here in Calgary to hang out with some friends, then I�m meeting everyone else tomorrow.�

�Plan on working while you�re here?�

�No, I�m going fishing�.

�You�re not sellin� anything, eh?�

�No, I�m just going fishing. This�ll be the 6th trip to this lake.�

�Oh yah, eh? You have to go into that room over there *points behind her* they need to talk to ya.�

*WTF?*

�OK.�

So I go in there, and it looks like a prison visiting room; elevated counter with high glass partitions between spaces, etc. After waiting for a few minutes, I get to the counter, hand the guy my passport and the questions started again.

�So, what brings ya to Canada?�

�A fishing trip.�

�Oh yah? Where ya headed?�

�Up to the Northwest Territories via Saskatoon.�

�Ya traveling alone?�

�Just today. I�m staying overnight here in Calgary to hang out with some friends, then I�m meeting my other 5 fishing buddies tomorrow back here at the airport.�

�Plan on working while you�re here?�

�No, I�m going fishing.�

�You�re not sellin� anything, eh?�

�No. I�m on vacation.�

�So, Ya got a criminal record?�

*WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? screams the voice in my head. *

�Well, no. Not really. I was arrested 8 years ago for DUI, but I got a reduced sentence.�

�Yah, that�s showing up here on your record.� (he gave me the exact date)

�OK.�

�What this means is that you�re criminally inadmissible to Canada.�

*At first, it�s totally unreal. This cannot be happening to me. Am I getting� punk�d? Where�s Allen Funt?*

�What are you talking about? I�ve been here 4 other times since that happened.�

�Well this time you got randomly picked for a background search, and with this on your record, you�re criminally inadmissible.�

�OK.�

* Now what the hell do I do? I�m here to visit with friends and go fishing not rent a car, get drunk, then go on a killing spree!*

�Since this is just a DUI though, I can issue you a temporary permit.�

*clarity starts to set in as I feel an all-too familiar tingle of anticipation in my backside*

�MmmHmm. And I suppose there�s a fee for this permit?�

�Yah, 200 dollars.�

�WHAT!�

�200 Canadian, or you can go home.�

�Well since you put it that way, what credit cards do you like?�

So I got a fancy permit stapled into my passport, complete with my photo on it. With the exchange rate, it cost me $185 in USD. Just. To. Get. Into. The. Fucking. Country.

So I found my stuff, got the whole nice search in Customs, then took a cab to the hotel.

Stay tuned for part 2�

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Want to comment? Speak up! 2 Quips to Date


LIz - 2006-08-09 09:03:35
Wow!! What a story. Unbelievable. Maybe you should shave the beard..hehehehe.
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Al - 2006-08-09 10:40:28
A Canadian cornholing. Yum.
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Last Five Entries

Goin' back to Cali - 2011-05-10
Healing - 2011-01-27
What if I hadn't done that? - 2010-11-10
Cousin Dave - 2010-09-13
Back to Spokane - 2010-08-25


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