2005-08-18
� 12:42 p.m.
Softcore (it's not what you think)
What a gig. The driving beat of the drums, the chunky guitar, the thumping bass, the sultry vocals of Jamie Nova, the free-flowing beer, the smoky bar, the 25 or so people�wait a tick�25 people? Way to represent, Denver. What, was it a weeknight or something? It was? Oh. Well, you�re still too old and tired! We played at the 15th Street Tavern, which is a hole that I�ve played at more than a few times, with several bands. It�s really hit or miss with the crowds there, especially on a weeknight. We were supposed to start playing at 10pm, but since there were only 2 bands booked, we didn�t start until 11pm. Weak. The sound guy graced us with his presence at about 10:50, and we hurriedly sound checked and played our show. There was a DJ there to keep everyone entertained in the meantime, and he was actually spinning records. I swear he had his older brother�s and his younger sister�s record collections. There were jumps from Lynyrd Skynyrd to Cyndi Lauper; Beatles to Monster Mash remix, etc. Some of the songs were lame, lame, lame. Some of the records were scratched too. It occurred to me that I haven�t heard a record skipping in about oh, I don�t know, 20 years or so. Goddamn I�m old. I still even have about 30 records. Word up, bitches, you wish you had 0.25 of my nerdy awesomeness. I was planning on staying for a song or two of the headlining band, Softcore (i found out that they call themselves the Guards of Metropolis these days 10/17/06), but when they started I couldn�t leave. They gave me a rocking the likes of which I hadn�t had in a good long time. Everyone in the band was really cool too. The singer, Kristin Blix, was this hot, 6�17� inch Norwegian woman, who had an outstanding stage presence and a great voice. She did have platform shoes on, so she was probably only about 6�14�. Silver, the bass player/backup vocalist (also hot), was a rock star in her own right, with a great voice, presence, and playing. The guitarist, Charles, and drummer, Jason, were just outstanding too. They were so tight, their music was so interesting, (insert more fawn-eyed flattery here at your convenience.) Everyone in my band bought one of their CDs. They were really that good. I was rappin� with Charles for about a half hour after the girls and I got all of their girls� contact information. We�ll play with them again, I�m sure. I can�t wait. The next time they come to Denver though, I don�t want to hear any of your sniveling. You�ll show up and get your ass rocked off, if you know what�s good for you. Charles observed to me that our two bands had the same gender distribution of female singers, female bass players, and male drummers and guitarists. We were destined to play with Softcore. Highlights of the night: � Getting to the gig and setting up the drums only to realize I�d forgotten my cymbal bag at the girls� apartment (30 minute round trip to go get them.). Nice move fucktard.
� Getting a pretty butterfly stamp on each hand from the guy at the door. Regular patrons only get one, but the band members get two. Ooh la la!
� Being put in my ignorant place by Kristin, who announced that if anyone in the crowd could name two cities in Norway, he or she would get a free CD. No one could name more than Oslo. Goddamn we suck.
� Watching Kristin lean into a song that she was totally into and break the microphone stand. She kept the top half for the rest of the song, then just dumped it for the rest of the show. Things like this happen to everyone on stage at some point, but I�m allowed to be amused, so kiss off.
� Having a drumstick fly out of my hand during a drum fill and not finding it until 5 minutes before I left for the night. (It went about 8 feet to my left and was under the stage-right monitor.)
� Meeting Softcore. They are total fucking rock stars, and great people too. I guess that�s it for now. Go to the Softcore website!
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