There are some who call me...Tim

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2005-07-15 ó 6:06 a.m.

Biblical Ass Marketing

I was just pondering something of profound importance. The bible, on the one hand says to love thy neighbor, but on the other hand says: Thou shalt not covet thy neighborís wife. Alright, try this on for size. What if your neighbor is a gorgeous, single woman? She has no wife to covet, and youíre supposed to love her, right? Is it still a sin? I mean, it doesnít say thou shalt not covet thy neighbor. This is a terrible contradiction and conflict of interest in my fragile little mind. You decide.

Know how to tell if your ass is too small?

Now you are so much wiser.

I work for a pharmaceutical company in Ft. Collins, Colorado. The drug market (not drug in a bad way) is very competitive, and in order to get ahead, there are a number of things that you need.

First, you have to have a drug that people need; it has to fill a void. Next, you have to be able to produce it and prove that it works. After that, you need to get it approved by the FDA (in the US) or another regulatory agency that represents your country or region. Finally, you have to market it so people and doctors can see just how badly they really need this product. Marketing is huge.

Unfortunately, you canít market or advertise pharmaceuticals like you can other products. Drug commercials show a bunch of people running around in the wind with flowing, colorful clothes and expressions of joy. Weak. Why canít these commercials come on 20 decibels higher than the normal programming and show cars doing donuts in the desert while blasting Led Zeppelin? Donít you think that would be more appealing? Oh wait, thatís a Cadillac commercial.

Anyway, marketing is tough. Thatís why you need brilliant advertising like this:

It didnít come from Johnson & Johnson, but that doesnítí make it any less brilliant.

Tomorrow is golf day and a concert in Boulder. A bunch of us are going to see Hellís Belles, which is an all-female AC/DC cover band. These girls are ROCK STARS. Besides, the singer from my band, Lickiní Lolli, is also the singer for Hellís Belles.

Iím sure there will be entertainment enough for all of us.

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Want to comment? Speak up! 1 Quips to Date

Glenn Ingle - 2005-07-15 16:13:53
You should continue this subject. Touch base on the dead Quiznos mice and commercials that don't seem to have a product.

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