2005-08-30
� 6:35 a.m.
New Shoes
New shoes Last night was the beginning of the fall bowling league at the incomparable Centennial Lanes in Longmont, Colorado. The team is about � the same as last season, including me (not too obvious, I know), Kim, Heather, and our new addition this season, Kim. It�s Heather and the ims! Wow, that was really lame. *sheepish look* It was kind of a mad scramble right at first with all of the checks to write, sanction cards to fill out, etc., so the 15 minutes of practice we usually get was limited. I just got some new bowling shoes last week, and hadn�t had a chance to try them out yet. Why new shoes? The shoes that I had were my father�s, from when he bowled in a league in 1967. This predates me by more than two years, since I was born 3 and one half weeks before 1970. The shoes were a blonde-colored leather; really comfy and just the right size. So what�s the problem you ask? Jesus Christ, haven�t you been listening? The shoes are nearly 40 years old! Given the dotage of my shoes, I retired them and spent $100 on some new Dexter shoes. Needless to say, footware technology has advanced plenty, and so has bowling technology. The latter can kiss my ass though. I still use my Dad�s 1959 (ish) Ebonite Tornado, all-rubber ball. I may end up getting a second ball for hooks (if I get really serious about bowling), but they�ll have to pry Dad�s ball out of my cold dead fingers. Where was I? Oh, I remember now, the shoes. Stop distracting me, OK? The new Dexter shoes I literally pulled out of the box in the bowling alley parking lot, put them in my bag, went in, and put them on. Now I was immediately impressed with how comfortable they were. Really snuggly. But they�re built differently, as I was to find out. So there I was, the thunder-like roll of the balls and crashing of pins all around me. Concentrating, since I hadn�t bowled in months, I set up like I always have, and started my advance. The ball in my right hand shoots forward with my left foot�swings back with my right foot�comes forward with the slide of my left foot and the release�HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK JUST�OW! *The foul buzzer is going off calling attention to my prone position*..How the hell did I end up face down on the lane with my arms sliding around on the lane oil? My knees hurt. Alright, lets run through this again�the ball comes forward with the left foot slide�Aha! There was no slide! My right shoe bottom consists of leather and felt. The sole of the left shoe, on the other hand, has a kind of soft rubber from the heel cut to just forward of the ball of the foot. It�s supposed to stop your foot! Wow, it sure works great. You put your weight on that sole and it stops dead. Well, that�s going to take some getting used to! I wasn�t expecting my foot to stop so abruptly, so my weight/balance was all discombobulated and I went shooting down the lane from the inertia of the 16-lb ball and my own forward momentum. I was able to recombobulate before the league play started, and I ended up bowling just fine (2 games above average, and one slightly under). Actually, I really like the fact that my foot stops, but holy roller Batman! When you�re not expecting it, it can make for an awkward moment. That�s right kids, the first roll of the first night of 33 weeks of bowling league and I try the never-recommended slip and slide. Shit. The team we played against on this first night was the team that won the league last year, so they were pretty good. I think my team was in 15th (out of 18) at the end of the season. Basically, we sucked. They didn�t really pick on us or anything, even though it was a clean sweep score-wise. The two women on their team, Marge and Mary, were both really cool. I love the team this season. Everyone gets along well and we�re very supportive of each other. There are plenty of high fives and giggling going on the whole time we�re playing, which is awesome. This night was extra special because Kim's girlfriend, Kim (that's her name, do you think I'm making this up?) was present also, and was a big part of the fun we were having. She's A LOT of fun. Of course, I was the only one drinking, but I have no problem with drinking alone. *Cue George Thorogood here* Memorable quotes from the evening: Kim (while bowling what ended up to be her best game): �I�m kicking my own ass!� Ed (from the other team) during our first game: �What, is this a new team or sumpm?� Kim (after the other Kim threw several gutter balls in a row): �You�re turning your wrist.� (other) Kim: �I gotta find a different ball.�
Something completely different: Strange observations from the last few days CSU Rams (football team) Billboard slogan and even catchy jingle on low-budget TV: Let�s go RAMin�!!! Lameness factor: 8 Chance that it would be mistaken for a demolition derby: 62% Why do they make cakes with frosting that looks like frosting, but it�s really only slightly sweetened whipped cream? What am I a diabetic? AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHH!!!!! Lameness factor: 9 Chance that you�ll taste is before you realize it�s a sham: 90%
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