There are some who call me...Tim

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2006-03-09 ó

random thoughts

Revelations and random thoughts.

1. First things first.
I still hate my new Spinning instructor, Jim. Iíll refer to him hereafter as P.T. (Power Tool). Jabber, jabber, jabber, jabber, jabber, jabber, jabber, jabber, jabber, jabber, is all he does. Whatís worse is heís one of those DWEEBS who really believes that heís witty and funny. Today he had a really hard time picking a song. 3 different times heíd scroll around, playing 10 seconds of a song, then realizing thatís not the song he was looking for. *shudder* The last time, it was (fortunately!) near the end of class and he skipped around for probably 2 full minutes looking for this one particular song. *AAAARRGGGHHH!* What does he stop on? Creed. *BARF*

Whatís also really toolish about P.T., the prince of tooldom and artisan of toolitude, is his cycling suit. Itís a one-piece (!) that has a big elliptical cutout encircling his chest and abs. You know, like they used to wear in the 80ís videos? Iím happy to report that he had a shirt on over it today.

Four things, P.T.:
∑ Youíre not funny
∑ Creed sucks. So does Train.
∑ Youíre not Freddie Mercury

2. Banquet Salsbury steak frozen meal isnít very good.
3. Itís better with hot sauce
4. Red Savina Mash is really hot. (YUM!)
5. Most people are shitty drivers.
6. Lava Lamps rock.
7. I love Mexican food
8. Mythbusters is one of the best shows on TV.
9. Boy George is a druggie, and heís always been a druggie.
10. Paris Hilton is a skanky hoe-bag.
11. The Patriot Act just got renewed today by Bush. Be Afraid. Be very afraid.
12. Bono really need to ditch those tinted, special Olympics glasses and get used to the idea that heís not 20 anymore. Hey Bono! Theyíre just crows feet, asshole, they come from smiling. Youíre not fooling anyone.
13. They caught the three college kids who were burning churches in Alabama.
14. Why would god let the churches be burned?
15. Never mind, I already know the answer.
16. I donít think Tolkien was a good writer.
17. Girl Scout cookies are really, really good.
18. Shit! I just ate 2 more. Must stop...cookiesÖsoÖgood
19. Some guy at UNC tried to kill his classmates with his SUV, claiming that he was doing ďthe will of AllahĒ.
20. Religion really sucks.
21. All of it.
22. This is one of my favorite blogs:
23. So is this one:
24. Most bottled water has 0 calories, 0 fat, 0 carbs, 0 fiber, 0 sodium chloride. No, Iím not just going to call it Ďsodiumí. If itís low in sodium, it would have to be high in chlorine, and thatís not better. Since water is a big 0, why do they put a serving size on the bottle? The bottle Iím drinking now has a serving per container number of 4. WTF? No, I donít buy into the whole bottled water thing; I got this one on the way home from band practice because I was thirsty. Thatís all there is to it.
25. Homeopathic medicine and acupuncture donít work. Just get used to it, and weíll get along fine.
26. I love science.
27. Especially astronomy. Check this out:
28. I love Mexico
29. Iím very happy in my new band.
30. Southern accents usually bother me, but mostly when men have them.
31. Astrologers and psychics are criminals.
32. It bugs me when fitness professionals tell you to cool down and flush the lactic acid out of your muscles. Itís a very well established myth, but itís bunk. Itís bullshit. When I hear someone say it, especially in sports or fitness, their credibility goes way down. Donít these people have to study physiology? Apparently not. Get a clue, people. Get educated.
33. Speaking of knowledge, one of my coworkers today told me that due to some thyroid condition that he has, he can only drink Ďfiltered waterí. So I asked him if there was a specific type of water he drank or was it just any bottled water. He says heíll drink any bottled water. Apparently there are certain elements/elemental molecules that he should avoid. I asked him if he know that these elements were, in fact, absent from his bottled water. Him: ďNo, but itís filteredĒ Me: "filtration is not purification, it will only get rid of particulatesĒ Him: ďÖĒ
34. Iím an asshole, itís true, but itís a legitimate observation.
35. Thatís all for now.

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Want to comment? Speak up! 4 Quips to Date

Sister Psy-chic - 2006-03-10 10:01:01
Is there anything GOOD about your instructor? Geez, he sounds like a modern day Jerry Lewis. Albeit a dry one! Why waste energy pondering things you don't believe in or that annoy you? That energy is best directed towards positive thinking. Try it, you'll like it! :)
Alex - 2006-03-10 11:04:23
Sister Psy-chic, I disagree. In order to fully process and enjoy positive thoughts, you need to have negative ones. You ever hear about the rich guy who got fed up of being rich? Read any news article about someone going postal and its always, 'he/she was the nicest, calmest person, I can't believe he/she did this'. Why did they do this? Because they have been supressing every negative thought until there was no more room at the Inn and Boom, an explosion of all the negative things that 'you don't believe or that annoy you'. Everything in moderation, or eventually your top will blow. Keep it up Tim, your whining keeps me calm.
golfwidow - 2006-03-10 11:31:21
You would have LOVED this chick I used to work with who refused to drink soda, neither regular (contains sugar) nor diet (contains chemical sweeteners). I never saw her drinking water, though, either. One day I said to her, "Do you not like soda?" and she said, "I like it, but I don't want any refined sugar in my beverages." I said, "You're drinking Snapple lemonade." She said, "There's no sugar in it. I said, "Hello, the second ingredient, after water, is 'high-fructose corn syrup.'"

She said, "That's not sugar."

I then bashed my brains out against a brick wall.
Sister Psy-chic - 2006-03-10 13:24:08
Hey Alex, whoever you are, your response in hilarious! Ever consider standup? :)

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