There are some who call me...Tim

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2005-08-18 ó 12:42 p.m.

Softcore (it's not what you think)

What a gig. The driving beat of the drums, the chunky guitar, the thumping bass, the sultry vocals of Jamie Nova, the free-flowing beer, the smoky bar, the 25 or so peopleÖwait a tickÖ25 people? Way to represent, Denver. What, was it a weeknight or something? It was? Oh. Well, youíre still too old and tired!

We played at the 15th Street Tavern, which is a hole that Iíve played at more than a few times, with several bands. Itís really hit or miss with the crowds there, especially on a weeknight. We were supposed to start playing at 10pm, but since there were only 2 bands booked, we didnít start until 11pm. Weak. The sound guy graced us with his presence at about 10:50, and we hurriedly sound checked and played our show.

There was a DJ there to keep everyone entertained in the meantime, and he was actually spinning records. I swear he had his older brotherís and his younger sisterís record collections. There were jumps from Lynyrd Skynyrd to Cyndi Lauper; Beatles to Monster Mash remix, etc. Some of the songs were lame, lame, lame. Some of the records were scratched too. It occurred to me that I havenít heard a record skipping in about oh, I donít know, 20 years or so. Goddamn Iím old. I still even have about 30 records. Word up, bitches, you wish you had 0.25 of my nerdy awesomeness.

I was planning on staying for a song or two of the headlining band, Softcore (i found out that they call themselves the Guards of Metropolis these days 10/17/06), but when they started I couldnít leave. They gave me a rocking the likes of which I hadnít had in a good long time. Everyone in the band was really cool too. The singer, Kristin Blix, was this hot, 6í17Ē inch Norwegian woman, who had an outstanding stage presence and a great voice. She did have platform shoes on, so she was probably only about 6í14Ē. Silver, the bass player/backup vocalist (also hot), was a rock star in her own right, with a great voice, presence, and playing. The guitarist, Charles, and drummer, Jason, were just outstanding too. They were so tight, their music was so interesting, (insert more fawn-eyed flattery here at your convenience.) Everyone in my band bought one of their CDs. They were really that good.

I was rappiní with Charles for about a half hour after the girls and I got all of their girlsí contact information. Weíll play with them again, Iím sure. I canít wait. The next time they come to Denver though, I donít want to hear any of your sniveling. Youíll show up and get your ass rocked off, if you know whatís good for you. Charles observed to me that our two bands had the same gender distribution of female singers, female bass players, and male drummers and guitarists. We were destined to play with Softcore.

Highlights of the night:

∑ Getting to the gig and setting up the drums only to realize Iíd forgotten my cymbal bag at the girlsí apartment (30 minute round trip to go get them.). Nice move fucktard.

∑ Getting a pretty butterfly stamp on each hand from the guy at the door. Regular patrons only get one, but the band members get two. Ooh la la!

∑ Being put in my ignorant place by Kristin, who announced that if anyone in the crowd could name two cities in Norway, he or she would get a free CD. No one could name more than Oslo. Goddamn we suck.

∑ Watching Kristin lean into a song that she was totally into and break the microphone stand. She kept the top half for the rest of the song, then just dumped it for the rest of the show. Things like this happen to everyone on stage at some point, but Iím allowed to be amused, so kiss off.

∑ Having a drumstick fly out of my hand during a drum fill and not finding it until 5 minutes before I left for the night. (It went about 8 feet to my left and was under the stage-right monitor.)

∑ Meeting Softcore. They are total fucking rock stars, and great people too.

I guess thatís it for now. Go to the Softcore website!

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Want to comment? Speak up! 1 Quips to Date

Glenn Ingle - 2005-08-19 12:42:24
I thought I was the only one that wrote like that. Perfect rhyme scheme and syllable count. So much, you can tell where non-rhyming words were interjected to slow the speed in this direction. This reminds me of Diane Savage here in Tucson. Be glad you play in a fun band. After that stint with ďDiane the music NaziĒ, Iím still free of nits. My body hair has grown back though. Especially on my, Hey, there they are.

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